Saturday, October 20, 2012

Dream green in Ireland





这次去爱尔兰和去其他国家感觉太不一样,不仅仅是爱尔兰的green让你耳目清心,这个国家许多事和人会让你不知所措。诗人奥登说疯狂的爱尔兰看来不离谱。 

爱尔兰在地理上是一个偏僻岛国,又曾是欧洲四个贫穷国家之一【爱尔兰,葡萄牙,希腊,西班牙】,他曾受尽欺诲又保守落后,为了独立,断断续续和英国打了将近六百年,再北爱和爱打,在Belfast街市留下了一道又道的“peace wall”。一代一代爱尔兰的家长都流着眼泪嘱咐孩子离开!必须离开!结果至今,一个三百万人的国度,流落世界各地的爱尔兰后裔却有八千多万[wiki数据]。是不是由于爱尔兰人的贫困和朴素,自信和秩序,使他们最早走出了贫困。那艘dream  ship ---Titanic 1912年就在爱尔兰的Belfast下水,启航。更让爱尔兰人得意的还有,在美国历届总统有七位是爱尔兰裔,较著名的肯尼迪,里根,克林顿等。早年20世纪初期,冷落的爱尔兰就走出了堂堂萧伯纳,王尔德,叶芝,荒诞派戏剧创始人贝克特,有四位诺贝尔文学奖得奖者,更出格的是写《尤利西斯》的乔伊斯,厚厚的一本,写的仅仅是一天的时间,一对夫妇的心理遭遇紧凑而肆洋,真实的难以置信。这本书还闹上法庭。这些人物一度使全世界的前卫文化,几乎都弥漫着爱尔兰口音。


爱尔兰人能歌能舞,还能喝,喜欢社交,有很多酒吧,他们称pub, 据说从public而来。他们创作和演奏的现代派音乐,在世界各地都有知音,还有后来风行一时的“river dance”舞步里体现了爱尔兰人的高贵,潇洒,自信,不折不饶。
------



 Dream green in Ireland


来美国后知道一叶三瓣的翠绿色叶子是Irelandsymbol,每年SaintPatric's Day美国各地都会有热闹的Irish绿色游行,还和现代绿色环保挂上了钩,是Ireland的先见之明,还是得绿独厚绿得有点意思。记得我的第一个病人也是Irish,到了SaintPatric's Day,他会全身点缀上翠绿,连吃的,用的都涂上穿上绿衣。我有时还暗暗笑他带着一顶绿帽子。这次在爱尔兰,注意到爱尔兰的三色国旗, green是其中三色之一,原来绿色代表信仰天主教的爱尔兰人,也象徵爱尔兰的绿色宝岛,三色旗里的绿,绿的很翠。另外的橙色代表新教及其信徒,这一颜色还取意于奥伦治·拿骚宫的色彩,表示尊贵和财富;当中的白色象徵天主教徒和新教派教徒之间永久休战、团结友爱,象徵对光明、自由、民主与和平的追求。这面旗帜在1919年爱尔兰独立战争期间就被第一共和採用了,此后爱尔兰自由邦 (1922-1937)亦沿用之,1937年被赋予宪法地位。


离开肯尼迪机场大约6小时,飞机开始在都柏林上空降落,窗外只见浓厚的云层,低低地笼罩在都柏林上空,想看看都柏林的轮廓,却云遮雾挡,羞答答。一下飞机,在机场内直奔租车公司,接待我们的是标准的爱尔兰男人,头部宽宽,一头带点灰色的银发,做事一板一眼,没料到租车要交保险费,原来爱尔兰岛上还分有北爱尔兰,属于英国的一个地区,他认真地看着我们,铮铮有词地说“现在全世界有三个地方北爱尔兰,以色列,牙买加要自己付汽车保险费,信用卡公司不cover,”北爱尔兰跟英国用英镑,爱尔兰用欧元,我们一脸的不明白,频频开口想问个仔细,他却像触到伤痛似地;sorry, people just don't want to talk about it!” 看来非一日之寒的家事,说来话长,我们自趣地办妥了手续,同时租了一个有Coordinate input功能的GPS,拿到了车,赶紧上路,先告别一下都柏林。



北爱尔兰首府---Belfast

在爱尔兰驾驶似乎到了英国,也有点像在日本,驾驶座位在右面,道路行走在左面,感觉有点像本来是右撇子,一下子成了左撇子,一路丘陵起伏,弯弯绕绕,一惊一险地上了高速公路,高速公路上宽松一点,但马上发现高速公路的路牌上标的是爱尔兰文字,幸好有GPS,顺利地到了第一个目的地北爱尔兰的首府Belfast.

 






wiki上是这样介绍的,Belfast位于爱尔兰岛东北沿海的拉干河口,在贝尔法斯特湾的西南侧,是英國北爱尔兰的最大海港。始建于1888,自1920起成为北爱尔兰首府。现有人口276,459,都會區579,554,是北爱尔兰政治、文化中心和最大的工业城市。

让北爱尔兰骄傲的那艘dream  ship ---Titanic 1912年是在北爱尔兰的Belfas下水启航的。来之前知道这事时,曾让我吃惊,我原来以为是在英国造的,我很惊讶,在1912年,英国的钢铁工业,造船工业就已经如此发达,雄心勃勃,在北爱尔兰招了1万五千多造船工人,奏响了世人震惊的造船曲。有记录一个船员在航行中拍着胸脯,对2等舱女乘客西尔维亚•考德威尔说:「就是上帝亲自来,他也弄不沉这艘船]Titanic號被认为是航海技术史上的一個里程碑,加上好莱坞一次一次地拍成电影,生离死别的剧情,让她更充满了魅力,不幸的是她1912年4月英国开往纽约时撞上冰山沉没,一幕伟大的悲剧,但她仍然是世界造船史的一个奇迹。

Belfast 在当年建造Titanic的造船厂就地建立了一个博物馆,纪念当年 ship的建造者和沉船的殉难者。博物馆的造型很现代,船头像翅膀一样伸展,乘着电梯上四楼之高,向下看深幽幽,还只是Titanic的船身高,我镇镇地看着钢板上密密麻麻的鉚釘,船头陈列着的一串钢铁缆绳,一节仅就一人可抱着,陈列橱窗前,我呆呆地望着ship设计师Thomas Andrews的相片,他是那样踌躇满志,英俊。当知道Titanic将要下沉,传说有人见他默默地,孤零零一人坐在船头的吸烟房里,一定悲痛欲绝地度过最后的时刻,尸体也从来没有找到过。博物馆不远还保留着当年造船的高吊架,当年船下水时的船坞残墙,被一排透明的有机玻璃墙围着,上面刻上了所有建造者和沉船殉难者的名字。


















离开博物馆,就直奔Belfast市区,据说有名的peace wall”在那里,当年为了独立,断断续续和英国打了将近六百年,然后北爱和爱打,说来也是天主教和新教的宗教战争。当时两方筑起一道墙,不相往来,以这一街之隔,枪战频频,特别是在20世纪70年代双方形成军事团体爆炸,暗杀和街头暴力不断现在墙上都留下了要求独立,自由,情绪激昂,亢奋的画(MURAL),也成了一景,我们下车想拍照,把车趴在在街旁,进一家小方便店买水,店里的爱尔兰小伙子听说我们把车停在街旁,马上提醒说,这一带不安全,最好赶快开走。peace wall街上显得萧条,不见人影,我的耳边恍惚隐隐地传来了枪声。忽然让我明白了租车时那位爱尔兰人不愿提往事的恼怒和哀伤。


汽车在一道一道的peace wall”前兜了几个圈子,我不时快速地下车咔嚓几张,脑子里却琢磨着,为什麽命名为“peace wall 是不是打了,打个明白,打出个结果才会有peace. ,最后北爱尔兰作罢熄火执拗的北爱尔兰最终还是用英镑,我在“Titanic”博物馆的gift shop里买的一条围巾就是用的英镑,我心里真有点为北爱尔兰抱不平,她cost 三倍的美金,将近二倍的欧元。


















汽车在去hotel 的路上,突然下起了阵雨,稀里哗啦倾倒下来,连GPS也认不出路,后来几天也是日出与阵雨相交,才明白,爱尔兰岛是温和的温带海洋性气候,西部比东部潮湿,大多数时间覆云,气候变化无常。雨很快就停了,在市中心的街区绕了好几圈,这地方曾经是繁荣和战乱交织着,情感和理智冲突着,一切倾注在墙上,一代代烙在了北爱尔兰人的心里。

hotel离市中心不远,很简洁干净,洗了一个舒服澡,肚子开始嘀咕起来,这里和纽约时差5小时,夜幕已降临,肌饿地 在街市中心找饭店,一路霓虹灯闪烁,百货大楼灯火明亮,但街上人已不多,走进一家“Robinson"restaurant,楼下是pub,墙上挂着一长排电视,人声,音乐声鼎沸,坐满,站满了男男女女,我想都是北爱尔兰人,他们看着我,眼光有点惊奇,但我一点不感觉陌生,在美国,身边的爱尔兰人比比皆是。楼上是饭馆,暗暗的灯光,艳艳的紫色,找了一个靠窗口的位置坐下,来接待的女侍已是半老徐娘的年龄,倒也热情,爱尔兰有名就是他们的土豆,无论是煎的,炸的,烘出来的,捣成泥的都好吃,还有啤酒,brown beer,熟啤口感醇厚,我咪着咪着,昏昏欲睡,原来是时差开始作怪,耳边飘来爱尔兰民谣《Londonderry Air》,忧伤的要落泪


爱尔兰民谣《Londonderry Air

Would God I were the tender apple blossom
   That floats and falls from off the twisted bough
  To lie and faint within your silken bosom
  Within your silken bosom as that does now.
  Or would I were a little burnished apple
  For you to pluck me, gliding by so cold
  While sun and shade you robe of lawn will dapple
  Your robe of lawn, and you hair's spun gold.
  Yea, would to God I were among the roses
  That lean to kiss you as you float between
  While on the lowest branch a bud uncloses
  A bud uncloses, to touch you, queen.
  Nay, since you will not love, would I were growing
  A happy daisy, in the garden path
  That so your silver foot might press me going
  Might press me going even unto death.
  






Belfast city

Belfast (from Irish: Béal Feirste, meaning "mouth of the shoal")[11] is the capital of, and largest city in, Northern Ireland. By population, it is the fourteenth largest city in the United Kingdom[12] and second largest on the island of Ireland. It is the seat of the devolved government and legislative Northern Ireland Assembly.[13] The city of Belfast has a population of 267,500[1] and lies at the heart of the Belfast urban area, which has a population of 579,276. The Larger Urban Zone, as defined by the European Union, has a total population 641,638. Belfast was granted city status in 1888.

Historically, Belfast has been a centre for the Irish linen industry (earning the nickname "Linenopolis"), tobacco production, rope-making and shipbuilding: the city's main shipbuilders, Harland and Wolff, which built the well-known RMS Titanic, propelled Belfast on to the global stage in the early 20th century as the biggest and most productive shipyard in the world. Belfast played a key role in the Industrial Revolution, establishing its place as a global industrial centre until the latter half of the 20th century. Industrialisation and the inward migration it brought made Belfast, if briefly, the biggest city in Ireland at the turn of the 20th century and the city's industrial and economic success was cited by Ulster unionist opponents of Home Rule as a reason why Ireland should shun devolution and later why Ulster in particular would fight to resist it.

Today, Belfast remains a centre for industry, as well as the arts, higher education and business, a legal centre, and is the economic engine of Northern Ireland. The city suffered greatly during the period of conflict called the Troubles, but latterly has undergone a sustained period of calm, free from the intense political violence of former years, and substantial economic and commercial growth. Belfast city centre has undergone considerable expansion and regeneration in recent years, notably around Victoria Square. Belfast is served by two airports: George Best Belfast City Airport in the city, and Belfast International Airport 15 miles (24 km) west of the city. Belfast is also a major seaport, with commercial and industrial docks dominating the Belfast Lough shoreline, including the famous Harland and Wolff shipyard. Belfast is a constituent city of the Dublin-Belfast corridor, which has a population of three million, or half the total population of the island of Irela










Tuesday, October 16, 2012

THE FALLING OF THE LEAVES



刚从爱尔兰回来,这里秋意正浓,枫叶在阳光下,在霜露里,蕴育着她们的缤纷,红,黄,橙,绿, 层层叠叠,像晚霞一样凄美。诗意绵绵的秋景,我思念爱我的,和我爱的亲人,朋友,无论你在哪里,这首歌给你。




叶芝有一首诗和这首歌一样的题目

THE FALLING OF THE LEAVES》,
 by: William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)
 

UTUMN is over the long leaves that love us,
And over the mice in the barley sheaves;
Yellow the leaves of the rowan above us,
And yellow the wet wild-strawberry leaves.
 
The hour of the waning of love has beset us,
And weary and worn are our sad souls now;
Let us part, ere the season of passion forget us,
With a kiss and a tear on thy drooping brow. 


这次在爱尔兰sligo找到爱尔兰诗人叶芝的墓地,瞻仰了片刻。他的墓碑是一块灰色,简洁的石板,没有花也没有树,显得冷峻,寂寞。墓志铭上是诗人晚年作品《班磅 礴山麓下》的最后一句: "Cast a cold eye,on life,on death,horseman,pass by!" 冷眼一瞥/生与死/骑士/且前行!叶芝生前曾说斯莱果sligo是一生当中对他影响最深远的地方,在19489月,人们依照诗人的遗愿,将他的遗体移至他的故乡斯莱果郡sligo。他的坟墓后来成了sligo的一处引人注目的景点。
  





 英国诗人奥登悼念叶芝的诗句:疯狂的爱尔兰将你刺伤成诗


 叶芝不愧是爱尔兰文艺复兴运动的领袖,他的诗激情澎拜。


 The Second Coming a poem
by William Butler Yeats

           

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

秋(断章)---普希金







我喜欢秋天,特别是我们这里纽约,纽泽西一带,晚秋时的枫叶,五彩缤纷。可今天我要去Ireland, 回来希望还能看到枫叶。只能先看一下前几年摄的相片,和读一首普希金的诗吧。



AUTUMN

Aleksandr Pushkin

秋(断章)by 普希金; 查良铮译

"What then does not invade my drowsy mind?" (Derzhavin)

1

October's here already; the grove already
is shaking from bare branches its last leaves;
the breath of autumn begins to ice the roadway,
the stream still rushes gurgling past the mill,
but the mill pond is frozen; my sporting neighbour
hurries off with his pack to the far fields.
The winter corn suffers his boisterous pleasure,
his yelping hounds disturb the forest's slumber.

十月降临了——林中杈桠的树枝
已经摇落了最后的一片枯叶。
秋寒吹拂着——道路都已封冻,
磨坊后的小河还潺潺地流泻,
但池塘已经冻结。我的邻居
正赶忙去到远处的山野里打猎;
啊,玩兴多么浓,冬麦可苦不堪言,
猎犬的吠声激荡在沉睡的林间。


2

Now is my time. I bear no love for spring:
the floods, the mud, the stink - I feel unhealthy,
my blood ferments, longing chokes heart and mind.
Better harsh winter; then I can feel happy,
I love the snows, and then beneath the moon
the freedom of a sleigh ride, gliding swiftly,
a fresh-faced girl, wrapped in sable furs,
giving your hand a timid, passionate squeeze.

这才是我的季节;我不爱春天,
我病春:解冻、湿臭、泥泞,令我厌恶;
血在跳荡;情感和思想郁郁不宁;
严酷的冬天比较使我心满意足。
我爱冬天的雪:在月下,伴着女友,
坐上雪橇奔驰——多么轻快、自如!
而她,貂皮下温暖焕发,伸过手
紧紧握着你的:啊,火热而且颤抖!


3

And what a joy to race across the mirror
of frozen ponds with sharp steel on your feet!
And the excitement of those winter parties...!
But there's a limit; the snow goes on for weeks
and months, even a bear at length would suffer
from boredom. After all, we can't devote
a life to sleigh rides with these young Armidas
or moping by the stove behind sealed windows.

那是多么畅快,脚蹬着锋利的冰刀
在凝固的平滑如镜的河面上滑行!
还有冬节那多彩的热闹和欢愉!……
不过,也别说得过分:雪下个不停。
这个,老实说,即使是惯于穴居者,
大熊也终于厌倦。我们不可能一生
都和年轻的阿尔米达在雪橇上翻滚,
也不能老关在双层窗里,在炉边打盹。


4

Ah! gorgeous summer, I would love you, but
the heat, the dust, the flies, and the mosquitoes!
You torture us; our souls, once rich, grow flat,
we suffer like the barren fields, drought-stricken,
just longing for some freshness, for a glass -
that one thought fills our minds. We miss old winter,
and having seen her off with cakes and wine,
with ice and ice-cream we recall her reign.

啊,美丽的夏天!我也许会喜欢你,
假如并不炎热,没有灰尘、蚊子和苍蝇。
你折磨我们,使我们的心智瘫痪,
像田地,我们苦于干旱,情思都不醒,
似乎只有灌水来复苏。唉,我们心里
不想别的,只把冬天老妈妈思念不停:
刚刚用薄饼和美酒送她去了西天,
便又发明冷饮和冰食,来把她悼念!


5

People have harsh words for these days of autumn,
but, reader, they are dear to me, I love
their unassuming light, their quiet beauty.
Autumn attracts me like a neglected girl
among her sisters. And, to be quite honest,
she is the only one that warms my heart.
She has her good points; whimsically dreaming
and free from vanity, I find her charms appealing.

人们常常诅咒秋季临末的日子,
然而我,亲爱的读者,却不能同意:
我爱她静谧的美,那么温和而明媚,
就像个孩子,虽然不讨家里人喜欢,
却偏使我疼爱。让我坦白地说吧:
一年四季中,只有秋季和我相宜。
她有很多好处:而我像不虚荣的恋人
执拗地想象她有些什么称我的心。


6

How can I put it? She perhaps appeals
as sometimes a young sufferer from consumption
catches my eye. Unseen, her death awaits,
and without protest, quietly she sickens;
she cannot sense the yawning of the grave,
but life fades from the lips that still are smiling;
a rosy hue still plays around her eyes,
today she is alive, tomorrow dies.

应该怎样解说呢?我对她的爱情
就好像,有时候,你也许会属意于
一个肺结核的姑娘:她就要死了
可怜的人儿没有怨尤,没有怒气,
而恹恹枯萎;她的唇边还露着微笑,
墓门已经张开口,她却没有在意:
她的两颊仍旧泛着鲜艳的红润,
今天她还活着——明天呢,香消玉殒。


7

A mournful time of year! Its sad enchantment
flatters my vision with a parting grace -
I love the sumptuous glow of fading nature,
the forests clad in crimson and in gold,
the shady coolness and the wind's dull roaring,
the heavens all shrouded in a billowing mist
and the rare gleams of sun, the early hoarfrosts,
and distant grey-beard winter's gloomy portents.

啊,忧郁的季节!多么撩人眼睛!
我迷于你的行将告别的容颜;
我爱大自然凋谢的万种姿色,
树林披上华服,紫红和金光闪闪——
在林荫里,凉风习习,树叶在喧响,
天空笼罩着一层轻纱似的幽暗,
还有那稀见的阳光,寒霜初落;
苍迈的冬天远远地送来了恫吓。


8

Each autumn's coming makes me bloom anew;
my health is well served by the cold of Russia;
I feel a new love for the old routines,
sleep has its turn, and after it comes hunger;
the blood runs light and cheerful through the veins,
desires flock in - happy again, and youthful,
I'm full of life again - my organism
is like that ( pardon my prosaicism).

每逢秋天来临,我就重新蓬勃,
俄罗斯的寒冷有益于我的健康;
对于日常生活我又开始发生兴趣,
不断地饥饿,睡梦一连串地翱翔。
血液在我心里欢愉地轻快地跳跃,
我又感到幸福、年轻,沸腾着欲望。
我又充满了生命——这就是我的体质
(请原谅,我不必要地提到这些俗事)。


9

Tossing his mane, my steed carries his rider
over the open flatlands, and beneath
his glistening hooves he rouses up the echoes
in frozen valleys and cracks the ringing ice.
But then the short day fades, a fire blazes
in the forgotten hearth, now casting a bright flame,
now crumbling slowly, while I sit there reading
or give my drifting thoughts their hour of freedom.

我叫人把马迁来,它载着骑马的人
摆着鬃毛,向一片辽阔的荒野奔驰。
在闪亮的马蹄下,冻结的山谷响着
清脆的哒哒和薄冰爆裂的声音。
但白日一闪而过。久已忘却的壁炉
又烧起来了——它时而烧得通明,
时而微红——我则拿本书坐在路边,
或者把深长的思绪在心里盘算。


10

And I forget the world, in blissful peace
I am sweetly lulled by my imagination,
and poetry awakens in me then;
my soul, hard pressed by lyric agitation,
trembles, resounds and seeks as if in sleep
to surface finally in free expression -
and I receive a host of guests unseen,
old-time acquaintances, fruits of my dreams,

在甜蜜的静谧中,我忘了世界,
我让自己的幻想把我悠悠催眠。
这时候,诗情开始蓬勃和苏醒,
我的心灵充满着抒情的火焰;
它战栗、呼唤,如醉如痴地想要
倾泻出来,想要得到自由的表现——
一群幻影朝我涌来,似生而又熟识,
是我久已孕育的想象底果实。


11

And in my head thoughts spring into existence,
and rhymes dance out to meet them, and the hand
stretches toward the pen, the pen to paper,
and verse comes unimpeded pouring out.
So a ship, motionless in motionless water,
lies dreaming, then suddenly the sailors race
and climb aloft, wind swells the sails, the vessel
moves slowly out, bow cutting through billows,


于是思潮在脑中大胆地波动,
轻快的韵律驾驭着它的波涛跑开;
啊,手忙着去就笔,笔忙着去就纸,
一刹那间——诗章已滔滔地流出来。
这好像一只船,原来安睡在死水上,
可是,听!突然水手们行动飞快,
爬上,爬下——于是船帆鼓满了风,
这庞然大物冲破波浪,走上了航程。


12

and sails away. Where shall we sail to ...?

它航行着,可是往哪儿去呢?……


注:阿尔米达是意大利诗人塔索所著《解放了的耶路撒冷》中的美女,她以魔法迷醉了许多武士。

Monday, October 1, 2012

重温“十.一”




今天十月一号 ,是我儿子的生日。我很想念他,他已长大了,飞走了,就像放风筝,愿他飞的高高的,但手里的线却拉的紧紧。应该放飞了!

 这是2007年写的旧文。


重温“十.一”

十.一国庆,是中国举国欢庆的日子.
巧得很,也是我儿子出生的日子,还真是一个好日子.

记得当年医生算儿子的预产期是十月十四号.可在国庆前夕,九月三十那天,腹中的儿子不安宁了,我先生叫了朋友的车,送我去了徐家汇国际妇幼保健院,同时带上婆婆请六院的医生给写的一张纸条,,希望尽量考虑剖腹产.


来到医院,正值国庆前夕,人人都在准备过节了,医院里正在给员工发副食品,大包,小包的,活鸡活鸭的…..谁还有心思上班,儿子怎挑了这么个好日子!


幸好,到了医院,儿子安静了下来。在病房里,到了晚上十点,我让先生回家休息去,可能还未到时候.谁知过了一个时辰,腹痛阵阵加剧起来,护士们把我送到楼 上的待产房,我被安排在靠窗的一张床,正对面靠墙的一位产妇正呼天唤地地嚎叫着,我头皮都会发麻.我腹中的儿子也一阵紧一阵地翻腾,可我叫不出声,只是双 手紧紧拽住铁床的拦杆.后来留下关节痛的后遗症。


过了半夜,我忍不住哀求护士,请她告诉医生,我是准备剖腹产的.那小护士两眼惺忪,无奈地对我说,‘今晚只有两个值班医生,剖腹产是要三个医生在场的,她看着我口干唇裂,痛的受不了的样子, ‘你准备了什么没有?’’我说:”什么啊?”巧克力,参汤,水啊,可接接力”我摇了一下头,先生回家了,那时侯,家里还没有安装电话.小护士站起身,揉着双眼,”那我帮你倒点水去,你坚持一下,等天亮日班医生来’’
……...后来几个小时,我是一会儿床上,一会儿又下床,挣扎在骨盆架子崩开般的疼痛起伏中.
终于熬到天亮,日班医生来了,他们把我抬到了产房,产房里有三张床,一张床上已躺着一位产妇.正在接生,医生还没来得及给我检查,“婴儿的脐带挠颈了,快来帮忙”,那边医生连叫着,….我又被搁在了一边.


此时,窗外的阳光照射进来,还传来了扩音喇叭高亢的歌声……大概国庆游行开始了.

我身体开始抖擞起来,我想再疼下去我要昏过去了.
我开始迷迷糊糊……好象有医生来了,可能看到了我病卡里的纸条.
“给她接氧气,打杜冷丁,送手术室,叫家属签字,’’连连发着医嘱,
‘家属一下子联系不上,你自己签一下了.’护士递上那张剖腹产的同意书.

签完字,立即把我推进了手术室,手术台很窄,我那时将近有140斤左右,身体肿胀的厉害.护士们帮我侧转身,当麻醉剂注入我腰背的脊椎时,我一点都不感到疼,药性一下子让我全身轻松,”好舒服”,我马上进入梦乡.

不知过了多久,一位护士推醒我,”哎,是个弟弟哦,你睡的好熟哎”哪知道,我是一晚上被折腾的累死了.
儿子出生时有8斤重,怪不得这么厉害.小家伙皮肤已不是红红紫紫的,而是白白胖胖,人人喜爱.儿子一出世,一切都风平浪静了,病房里探望的,人人都带着国庆和家庆的喜悦,先生是轻轻松松做了爸爸.从那以后,国庆和儿子的生日联在了一起.

今年的”十一”.,我们约他在纽约一起吃了晚饭.
小时候,每到十一,我讲给他听他出身时的情形,他会不好意思的依隈在我的怀里,现在,我抬头看着他,却自己不好意思说出口了.

生儿子, 开天劈地,母亲孕育的伟大.天经地义,作为女人的骄傲.
不管儿子的人生会怎样? 我已给了他生命.

2007/10/1



儿子是我的骄傲: